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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568119">violets &amp; their symbolism in girl love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenkaede/pseuds/tenkaede'>tenkaede</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Femslash February 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2020, Hanahaki Disease, hints of chabashira &amp; momota friendship, its hopes peak lads, non-despair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:01:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568119</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenkaede/pseuds/tenkaede</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yonaga thinks that it's a beautiful disease until it starts to kill her. </p><p> </p><p>[ Day 2: Bloom ]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chabashira Tenko/Yonaga Angie, Shinguji Korekiyo &amp; Yonaga Angie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Femslash February 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>violets &amp; their symbolism in girl love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CEO of getting things done late but i really wanted to finish this</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The flowers bloom in Yonaga’s lungs before she’s even aware of what’s causing them. </p><p>The first petal falls from her lips when she’s caught in idle thoughts and small scribbles, hands strung by God’s guidance and sketching doodles over paper. Yonaga doesn’t doodle, not really, but God had decided that His divine inspiration would come in the form of them today, and who is she to refute that? </p><p>She’s not aware of the object in her throat until she coughs it onto the paper, stunned by the suddenness of colour against the white. </p><p>It’s the petal of a violet.  </p><p>Yonaga’s first inclination is to believe that it is a gift from God, but He generously pauses in his duties to tell her otherwise. The petal and the subsequent tickling in the back of her throat is something of her own body’s design. God can protect her feeble human body from illness, but sometimes even He needs to take a break! </p><p>She coughs two more times throughout the day before she pinpoints that it’s definitely some kind of illness. Maybe someone else would find it strange, but Yonaga has no reason to believe that it won’t leave on it’s own. </p><p>God tells her to ignore it, and so she does. </p><p>❀</p><p>It doesn’t leave overnight. If anything, it gets worse, and it’s harder to hide when Yonaga makes an active effort to attend class, but God tells her to conceal it so she does. She smiles and gives out God’s guidance and smiles again when she gets sour looks, a daily routine. It just takes some extra effort to keep from coughing. </p><p>An idle itch in the back of her throat. That’s all it is. And that’s all it remains. Easy to control, easy to hide, just as God commands. </p><p>Until she passes Chabashira, later in the halls, stuck by Yumeno’s side as always, as dedicated as always, as bright as always. Yonaga catches her green eyes, just for a moment, and what had been fondness directed towards Yumeno turns into something else. Something threatened, maybe. God says she’s being protective. </p><p>Yumeno tells her something in passing, and Chabashira shuts Yonaga down before she can respond, but she smiles and smiles again when Chabashira’s eyes narrow and smiles again when she turns the corner and coughs up petals. </p><p>If either of them heard Yonaga’s coughs, they don’t come to check. It leaves her staring at the petals, much too bright against the floor, much too painful to be harmless. How strange. How new. </p><p>Her throat hurts. </p><p>But she looks to God for guidance and He tells her to clean the petals before anyone sees, and so that is what she does. </p><p>❀</p><p>Momota stares. </p><p>Momota stares, and stares, and Yonaga wonders. He’s never one to stare - not at her. He’s not one to stare at the girls, lest Chabashira scold him for his filthiness (something fills the back of Yonaga’s throat). He stares at Ouma when he shows up to class in too-bright colours and speaks in his too-loud tone or swipes something with his too-quick hands. He stares at Saihara when he stutters or cringes or isn’t confident enough to do something. </p><p>He doesn’t stare at Yonaga, and yet, he is now. God thinks it’s curious! </p><p>God is also the one that tells her to confront him about it, and so it’s with His blessing that she find’s Momota after class, grabbing a fistful of the jacket he wears so strangely before he can leave her sight. </p><p>Annoyance. That’s what it is, when he realises it’s her and pinches the bridge of his nose. “What do you want, Angie?” </p><p>“Angie doesn’t want anything, but God has noticed that you’ve been staring!” Momota stiffens, and that’s as good of an admission as anything. Yonaga clasps her hands together and spills her words with a light tone. “Could it be that you finally want to commit to God, Kaito? Hm? Hm?” </p><p>“What-” The way his eyes narrow and brows furrow tells God his answer before he says it. “No, I’m not gonna commit to you God, or something! What makes you think I’ve been staring, anyway?” </p><p>God won’t be happy with that, but Momota will come around sometime, so Yonaga smiles. “God has noticed your watchful eyes!” </p><p>“He hasn’t noticed anything,” Momota says, too quickly. “Look, I’m not staring, alright? I’m not trying to - but if you really feel that way, I’ll work on it, alright?” </p><p>And Yonaga smiles, because God tells her to leave him alone. </p><p>But Momota stares, and stares, and stares some more, with an indigo gaze much too deliberate to be innocuous. He stares when she’s in class, stares when she smiles, and stares when Chabashira scolds her about something and she has to go to the bathroom to cough. </p><p>❀</p><p>God is the one that tells her to go to the library, and Shinguuji is the one to find her there. </p><p>They linger and linger and don’t speak, but that’s a-okay, because Yonaga very much understands their role as an observer! Momota stares and it’s invasive, but Shinguuji stares and it’s in their blood. Common. Normal. Shinguuji stares, and God says that it’s good attention. </p><p>She’s seated at a table when he strolls closer and their role as an observer becomes something else. God tells her not to worry, but they sit by her and their stare becomes something else, too. </p><p>“Angie-san,” Shinguuji says, “you’re sick.” </p><p>Yonaga smiles and tilts her head and hums and taps her fingers against the table because God doesn’t know what they’re talking about, so neither does she. “What could Korekiyo be talking about? Dunno, dunno!” </p><p>“There is… little point in denying it.” Is that sympathy in their voice? God thinks that it’s sympathy in their voice. “I am well-versed in identifying illness, alongside… another of our classmates.” Two bandaged hands raise in what might be a pacifying gesture, but Yonaga doesn’t know why. She’s still smiling. “This isn’t an attempt at attacking or interrogating you - my intentions are only to help.” </p><p>It would be easy, wouldn’t it? To tell them that she’s been coughing up the petals of violets. To say something like that to Akamatsu or Saihara might leave them in disbelief, but with all that Shinguuji’s seen and all the stories they’ve told, maybe they’d believe her without having to see her cough them up, maybe there’s stories about whatever it is that she has- </p><p>God tells her not to be so silly, so instead, she chirps, “hmm-hmm, your concern is noted in the eyes of God, but He also brings reassurance to you that Angie is fine!” </p><p>Unfortunately, Shinguuji is not like Akamatsu or Saihara in terms of how easily they can be convinced. Yonaga does not dislike many parts of them, but if she had to pick one property of Shinguuji’s to hate, it would be that one. </p><p>“Again… I have no desire to back you into a corner and attack you for this. I have, ah, many ways to soothe chest pain or throat irritation.” And it’s tempting, to say sure, okay, Yonaga wants the help, but, but, but. </p><p>Shinguuji’s halfway through explaining some more when Yonaga clumsily slides from her chair with a chirped goodbye, because God tells her to leave because Shinguuji can’t find out, shouldn’t find out, because a vessel of God shouldn’t be sick and Yonaga needs to leave before he can get suspicious of anything else and-</p><p>Yonaga’s focus falls away from whatever it is that’s in the back of her throat for one second, and that’s all it takes to cough petals onto the floor.</p><p>❀</p><p>Yumeno is one of the few to check in when Yonaga stops going to classes. It’s not mandatory to attend class at Hope’s Peak, but God had always told her to (for the sake of spreading His word better, when so many of her classmates are in one place). With the risk of looking sick in front of her classmates, now He has told her to withdraw.</p><p>If it had been anyone else, Yonaga might have refused her company. </p><p>But it’s not anyone else, and God says that He will allow it. </p><p>“Chabashira’s been following me around more than usual lately,” Yumeno says, and Yonaga is thankful that she’s never the one to call someone out for acting suspiciously. She’s less thankful when petals rise in the back of her throat. “... It’s such a pain.” </p><p>“Her dedication to your safety is a beauty, Himiko!” Yonaga says. She has to swallow afterwards. “Such loyalty to her cause is a gift of hers, nyahaha!” </p><p>Yumeno stares at her through half-lidded eyes, and Yonaga smiles, even when the mage’s gaze slides up and down her body. Is she searching for something? Has she noticed something? God tells her not to worry. There’s a pause, and then, “she talks about you a lot, y’know…” </p><p>Yonaga’s smile doesn’t falter, and she isn’t confused, because God tells her not to become confused. Chabashira’s one of the most vocal when it comes to rejecting God’s word, so what reason could she possibly have for talking about Yonaga? “Hm?” </p><p>“I don’t listen all the time,” Yumeno shrugs, “it’s just weird.” </p><p>Weird. God would use a different word for it, Yonaga thinks. </p><p>Yumeno isn’t one to question things, a trait that Yonaga has always liked in her, so she doesn’t comment on it when Yonaga has to leave and cough a fistful of petals into her palms. </p><p>Her throat stings. </p><p>❀</p><p>“Hanahaki disease,” Shinguuji murmurs. They say it with the kind of delicacy one might use when delivering awful news, and Yonaga doesn’t understand why they’re being so glum about it. “A sickness so rare that even texts that give it the little attention it has argue over its legitimacy.” </p><p>Yonaga isn’t one to read a lot, but she peers over their shoulder to squint at the notes they’ve made over the information they’ve gathered. But she smiles, because God tells her to, and traces a finger along the image Shinguuji’s sketch of flowers growing in the lungs. </p><p>“How curious,” Yonaga says, “that God’s chosen to give Angie the divinity of experiencing such a rare sickness! Such a beautiful illness.” When Shinguuji stiffens, she clasps a hand over their shoulder. “Isn’t it beautiful?” </p><p>Shinguuji has never been one for eye contact, so she pauses when they catch her gaze from over their shoulder. There’s something in their gaze, but Yonaga can’t identify it, and God doesn’t tell her what it is. “Angie-san… the result of this going unchecked is death.” </p><p>Death is not an unknown concept for her. It’s simply a means of sacrifice, a means of returning to God, but to hear it applied to her so bluntly makes something still in her chest. </p><p>“If this is what God wants for Angie, then He surely has a plan for her, ya know?” She smiles and clasps her hands together and ignores the irritation in her throat because if she coughs now it’ll do nothing but cover Shinguuji’s uniform in petals. </p><p>“I did not say that it’s inherently fatal.” Shinguuji taps a bandaged finger to their notes. Yonaga’s eyes start watering before she can read them. “It’s - ah. I should explain. It’s… an illness born of unrequited love. Unrequited feelings.” </p><p>Unrequited feelings. Yonaga can’t help but feel confused, this time. Her feelings are only ever God’s, and God was never meant to have feelings for mortals, so this can’t possibly make sense. Whether Shinguuji catches her confusion or not, she can’t be sure, but they gesture for her to lean in closer.</p><p>There’s no one else here, but it feels like an awful secret. </p><p>“Though sources vary on the exact nature of the disease and how it develops, the cure is always the same,” Shinguuji murmurs, fingers ghosting the paper. “An admission of feelings.” </p><p>Yonaga blinks. Something in her chest freezes for the second time, but God tells her to keep her composure, so she smiles. </p><p>“You must confess to whoever it is that has stolen your heart, Angie-san,” their tone solidifies into something darker. “Love is… beautiful, in many of it’s forms, and it’s culmination just as such, but…” They pause. Their gaze runs over the notes, one more time, before they turn and ever-so-gently clasp one of her hands with their own. “To see you deteriorate with illness, would be - well. I know I am being selfish when I say I certainly don’t wish for you to die because of this, but I know that nobody else will want it, either.” </p><p>“Angie doesn’t love anybody but God,” is the instinctual response, because for the first time in too long, Yonaga doesn’t know what to say. “Not in that way. Silly Korekiyo!”</p><p>“Angie-san.” The grip on her hand tightens, but she doesn’t pull away. Not now. “Who is it?” </p><p>Yonaga’s jaw opens and closes and opens again, and it feels like poison on her tongue to admit, quietly, “Angie doesn’t know.” </p><p>❀</p><p>For the first time since she was born, Yonaga is unable to carry on God’s will. </p><p>He extends His hand to her and tells her how to hide this best, but He cannot stop the shortening periods between her inevitable coughs, and He does not stop the increasing amount of pain gathering in her throat. Her chest. Her mouth. </p><p>The same day that she figures out who it is is the same day the petals she gags on start tasting of blood. </p><p>There’s some kind of commotion in the halls, and Chabashira rounds the corner too sharply smacks into Yonaga too harshly. There’s a second before Yonaga falls and before the pain sets in that the dull throb in the back of her throat turns into a burning in her chest. </p><p>And then she’s on the ground, much too stunned to make a sound. </p><p>The pounding of blood in her ears thunders over the sound of Chabashira’s voice. It takes one, two, three, four seconds to realise that Chabashira’s saying her name, and even longer for her eyes to focus on the figure above her. </p><p>“Angie-san!” Rarely does Yonaga receive the blessing that is Chabashira’s concern, but there’s no mistaking the look in those green eyes. “Tenko’s so sorry - are you alright?” </p><p>Yonaga’s chest rattles with a half-stifled cough before she can answer, and God tells her to keep her mouth closed, lest Chabashira spy the fresh petals behind her lips. She can barely see the other girl through her own vision anymore, eyes blurring as she wills herself not to cough. </p><p>Chabashira’s lips pull into a half-grimace before she extends a hand. It’s strange. She doesn’t seem shaken by their collision at all. “Angie-san?” </p><p>Unable to speak, Yonaga smiles, but reaches up to clasp their fingers together. </p><p>Her chest burns, and Yonaga never screams, but one rises in her throat just as quickly as the petals do and she smiles wider and doesn’t make a sound because God tells her to endure it even when she begins to think about how Chabashira’s hands are strangely soft for a martial artist. </p><p>“Does your head hurt? Did Tenko hit your nose?” Chabashira did, but Yonaga says nothing, because so much concern from her, even if she’s a protector of girls her concern is still foreign, still strange, still new, and Yonaga forces herself not to cry because her chest is screaming and her throat is burning and she’s holding her breath. “Don’t say something about your God, because - because if Tenko hurt something, she’s going to take responsibility for it.” </p><p>It hurts, yes. Not in the way that Chabashira thinks, maybe, but it hurts. </p><p>Yonaga shakes her head, Chabashira blinks, and someone else rounds the corner. </p><p>It’s Momota. What a strange form of Yonaga’s savior to come in, because he yells something that she doesn’t quite catch over the pounding in her ears but it’s something to make Chabashira pull away with an apologetic look. She bounds after him not a second later, and the suddenness of the silence that follows is… </p><p>It’s indescribable. </p><p>Yonaga doesn’t bother trying to find a word for it. She doesn’t hear God find a word for it. She doesn’t think about the way Momota’s eyes had lingered on her for a moment too long. </p><p>She drags herself to the bathroom and retches petals into a sink, ignoring the taste of copper on her tongue that follows. </p><p>❀ </p><p>“Chabashira-san?” Shinguuji raises an eyebrow, and Yonaga can’t tell whether they’re amused or surprised. “I wouldn’t have taken her for your type.” </p><p>“Did Korekiyo have guesses?” She winces internally at the way her jaw moves too slowly. Too heavily. She’s sore.  </p><p>“Yumeno-san was my primary suspect. Perhaps Saihara-kun.” </p><p>Yonaga’s nose wrinkles at the thought, and Shinguuji chuckles. Gently. Strangely. Sadly. </p><p>“Her dedication is endearing, I have to admit,” they continue, “is that one of the things you admire about her?” </p><p>“Tenko’s dedication is beautiful, but-” The sentence strangles itself into a cough, and both of them flinch at the petals that fall onto Yonaga’s lap. </p><p>Shinguuji pauses. They slide a comforting hand over her shoulder until she stops shaking, though she doesn’t realise she had been trembling in the first place.  </p><p>“But?” They say, softly. </p><p>“Tenko was one of the first to scold Angie so openly.” She says it like a realisation and for once, God is silent. “And she continues to do it. That’s what kept God’s eye on her. It’s so curious, ya know? To be opposed to openly!” </p><p> </p><p>“And that’s what made you think about her.” </p><p>“That’s what made Angie unable to stop thinking about her!” She should have said God, really. God is the one that must have had His watchful eye on Chabashira, and God must be the one to have kept her thinking about Chabashira. </p><p>She doesn’t.</p><p>But she doesn’t say more than that, either. The idea of having her own emotions separate from God’s will is not a thought that she’s ever wanted to entertain, and it’s becoming harder to ignore.<br/>
God tells her that Shinguuji wants to tell her to confess to Chabashira, but he doesn’t say it out loud, either.</p><p>❀</p><p>When Yonaga doesn’t like something, she pushes it to the edge of her mind in knowing that God will sort everything out eventually, even on His days off. She doesn’t like the tension that fills the air when Shinguuji looks at her and the echoes of his voice whisper fatal, fatal, fatal in the back of her head, so she pretends that it doesn’t exist. She doesn’t like it when people start staring because she’s disappointing God and not keeping it hidden enough when she needs to cough up blood in the bathroom, so she pretends that their looks are the very same as what they deliver when she talks about God.</p><p>The problem is that Yonaga likes Chabashira too much, and she’s not sure whether it’s bloomed along with the flowers in her lungs or whether it’s been waiting there the whole time, growing, growing, growing. Yonaga likes Chabashira too much, and she yearns for her anger just as much as her concern. The idea of such a passionate girl refusing to follow her or giving in to loving her just as the rest of her island does is equally endearing.</p><p>It’s troublesome. The flowers in Yonaga’s chest aren’t beautiful anymore.</p><p>It’s only a matter of time before Chabashira catches on, too.</p><p>“You’re acting strangely,” she comments.</p><p>Yonaga smiles, even if something in the back of her mind wails, because she came to the bathroom to rid her throat of the petals and not to gain more. Chabashira’s presence alone is enough for her tongue to start tasting of blood. How to answer the question, how to answer the question… “Tenko always thinks that Angie is acting strangely, doesn’t she?” </p><p>Chabashira frowns. “Angie-san usually doesn’t skip classes so much or hide here to avoid people so often.” </p><p>Ah, she thinks that Yonaga is avoiding people by hiding in the bathroom? If Chabashira believes that the trips to the school bathrooms are out of avoidance, then she can keep the assumption. </p><p>“Does that mean Tenko came here to seek Angie on purpose?” God tells her to tilt her head. Hum a little. Act clueless. “You think Angie is acting so weirdly, but-” She freezes. Just for a second, to swallow. “But you usually aren’t so concerned, are you? How wonderful!” </p><p>She should be trying to hide it better, she knows, but there’s a pounding in her head and a burning in her chest and fleeing would be much too obvious of an indicator that something is wrong. God says that nothing is wrong. </p><p>“Tenko is a protector of girls! And when Angie-san acts so strangely, it’s a cause for concern.” And oh, Chabashira speaks with the kind of tone Yonaga’s heard before. She speaks with the kind of voice someone might when they aren’t saying everything, or want to say something more, or a mixture of the two. </p><p>God is the one that supplies her next words, but they get stuck on her tongue once she realises that it’s getting harder to breathe. </p><p>Chabashira’s frown only steepens at her silence, and she regards it with folded arms and furrowed brows. “Are you really that surprised that Tenko’s concerned? It’s not like Tenko hates you or something…” A blink, and then she flinches. It’s almost comical, but Yonaga doesn’t dare laugh. “That makes it sound like Tenko just dislikes you a lot! That’s not it, Tenko promises! She’s just worried!” </p><p>Just worried. Yonaga doesn’t know what to make of that. </p><p>She doesn’t make anything of it. She gives Chabashira an unsteady wave and skips out the way the came in before she’s unable to breathe completely. </p><p>❀</p><p>Shinguuji tells her to confess. Of course they do. </p><p>Once they hear about her growing inability to breathe when Chabashira’s around, they almost beg for her to. Begging from Shinguuji is not desperate screams and tears, but too-quiet murmurs and a hoarse voice and a tight grip on her hands, shoulders, fingers. </p><p>Yonaga thinks that it’s worse, that way. </p><p>God tells her not to listen to them.  </p><p>❀</p><p>“You know that Chabashira wants to hang out with you, right? To make sure that you’re okay.” Momota says, in passing, without looking at her completely. He rubs a hand to the back of his neck. “I know you’ve got… stuff goin’ on right now. I know. Just… thought you should know.” </p><p>Yonaga doesn’t say anything. The idea of Chabashira’s concern is still foreign, and her throat hurts too much to speak right now, but Momota doesn’t need to know that. </p><p>❀</p><p>She’s not sure whether she finds Chabashira or if Chabashira finds her, but the result is the same - they’re in the library together, and the only thing between them is silence. </p><p>Maybe this is God’s doing. Or maybe it’s a punishment. </p><p>It feels closer to the latter once Chabashira abandons whatever book she’d been skimming and strides towards her with purpose in her step. She takes some kind of confident stance - the same way she looks when she’s about to throw a boy, and for a moment, Yonaga thinks she’s going to do just that, but the stops just in front of her. </p><p>“Are you sick or something?” </p><p>The accusation makes Yonaga blink, and something burns in the back of her throat, but Chabashira looks so confident that it’s hard not to be surprised. </p><p>So Yonaga echoes, “sick?” because she can’t think of any other way to answer it when Chabashira’s so close. Too close. </p><p>“It would explain why you’re acting so strangely.” Chabashira pauses. “And Tenko heard Momota-san talking. Normally Tenko wouldn’t believe a male so easily, but…”</p><p>She leaves Yonaga to fill in the blanks. But it would make sense? But she trusts him more than other males? But it’s what she wants to believe? Yonaga doesn’t like it, so she doesn’t think about it, and doesn’t want to finish the sentence. </p><p>She’s suddenly and overwhelmingly aware that she doesn’t want to cough up petals in front of Chabashira. </p><p>“Tenko shouldn’t listen to Kaito so much. He’s not verified in the eyes of God!” Is the only thing that Yonaga manages before it hurts to breathe, and she’s not sure whether it’s God’s will or her own when she starts to turn. She can’t remember why she came here in the first place, but she doesn’t need God to tell her that the best decision would be to leave before she starts gagging up petals and blood. </p><p>“Wait a second-” Chabashira says, and Yonaga would love to stay, to have the girl’s attention, to have the girl’s concern, but she doesn’t like the idea of coughing blood onto Chabashira’s clothes, so she doesn’t want to think about it. “Hey, Tenko said to wait!”</p><p>Yonaga barely makes it two more steps before there’s a hand around her wrist and she’s being pulled back quickly enough that she almost falls. The touch alone is enough to send sparks of electricity up her arm and push heat to her cheeks, but the warmth also falls into her chest to the point of burning. </p><p>The look in Chabashira’s eyes makes her throat burn, too, and it takes even God’s strength to keep from retching petals onto the floor. </p><p>“Is it something bad?” She asks. She keeps her grip on Yonaga’s wrist, so tightly - too tightly - that God says she’s going to leave a mark. “Is that why you’re avoiding everyone so much?” </p><p>Fear is not something that Yonaga should have. There’s no need to fear when she has God, and she doesn’t see any reason for fearing in this situation, anyway. </p><p>But her breath starts to rattle and there’s a pounding in her ears before she can even identify why, and she wants to run and she doesn’t want to be here and she doesn’t want to tell Chabashira anything even if Shinguuji says that she should- </p><p>“You’re crying,” Chabashira says, softly. </p><p>Huh? </p><p>Yonaga raises her free hand, but it freezes before she can swipe at her eyes. Her vision’s blurred enough for her to realise that Chabashira’s telling the truth, and she’s not because of the pain in her throat or the burning in her chest or something else. </p><p>Chabashira’s expression shifts from confusion to horror so quickly that it might have been amusing, if this were any other situation, and she jumps away like a startled cat. “Gyah! Did Tenko do that? Was she too forceful with you! Tenko’s sorry!” </p><p>And here’s the opening Yonaga was hoping for, where she should turn and run and empty her mouth of the petals in her mouth, but something keeps her feet frozen to the ground. She should leave. She wants to leave. God tells her to leave. </p><p>“Not your fault,” Yonaga manages.  </p><p>Her breathing rattles with petals once Chabashira slinks back towards her, and Yonaga hopes, wishes, begs that God keeps her from choking on her tears, too. </p><p>“Is it really that bad?” Chabashira doesn’t grab at her wrist again, and Yonaga’s not sure if it’s pity or concern that sits on her face. “For Tenko to ask about it…” </p><p>Yonaga swallows petals and slowly, softly, rasps, “why does Tenko care so much?” </p><p>She’s not sure why she asks. Maybe it’s because Chabashira’s concern is a wonderful thing. Maybe it’s because when Chabashira cares, she cares so much. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to answer the question. God doesn’t supply the answer for her this time. </p><p>“Tenko cares about all of the girls! That includes you, y’know, even if you can be sneaky sometimes,” Chabashira asserts, and Yonaga doesn’t ask what ‘sneaky’ means to her. “And… Tenko’s been wanting to spend more time with you, lately. Then you started avoiding everyone. Tenko wanted to know what was going on.” She’s not meeting Yonaga’s eyes when she adds, “and help.” </p><p>Help. Chabashira wants to help. </p><p>Yonaga laughs, but it’s not two seconds before she jokes on petals in the back of her throat and has to cover her mouth when she coughs. Petals, wet with blood, fall into her hands and she closes a fist around them as soon as the forces herself to keep from coughing. And it hurts, because Chabashira’s right here, and she wants to help, and Yonaga almost wants to let her help.</p><p>“Angie-san?” </p><p>There’s something slipping down Yonaga’s cheeks and there’s petals in her hands, but she refuses to let Chabashira see those. She slips them into the pocket of her cardigan and doesn’t know if the other girl sees but this is already and awful situation. Yonaga doesn’t know what to do. </p><p>“Tenko wants to help?” Yonaga says, chest shuddering with shaky breathing. “You want to help?” </p><p>“Tenko’s not sure how much she can help with sickness, but of course! To lessen any girl’s suffering is one of Tenko’s top priorities.” And Yonaga can’t see Chabashira properly through blurred vision but she can hear the confident grin in her voice. “... Is there a way for Tenko to help?” </p><p>Yonaga thinks of telling Chabashira to let her go and demanding that they stop talking to one another, but she doesn’t like that idea, so she doesn’t say it. Yonaga thinks of telling Chabashira to talk to Shinguuji, but she doesn’t like that idea, either. Yonaga thinks of grabbing Chabashira by the collar and pulling her down into a kiss, to confess, to fix this, but she doesn’t like the idea of confession, either. </p><p>And yet, maybe it’s God that makes Yonaga step forward with unsteady footing. Chabashira doesn’t step away. She doesn’t say anything. Not until Yonaga props herself up on her toes and puts her hands on her shoulders. </p><p>“Ah-” Chabashira stiffens under the touch, but she doesn’t move. “What are you doing?” </p><p>Yonaga thinks about closing the space between them. She doesn’t like the idea of confession. </p><p>She does it anyway. </p><p>Kissing isn’t foreign to her, but Chabashira squeaks when she does it. It only lasts a second. Maybe two. It’s enough, Yonaga decides, when her throat starts to burn and her cheeks start to warm and it feels like something’s jabbing a knife into her chest over and over again. </p><p>Yonaga is the one to pull away, and there’s something divine about how red Chabashira’s face is. “Wh - you - Angie-san, what, wh?”<br/>
But nothing changes, and Yonaga’s mouth tastes of blood, and Chabashira’s too busy stuttering to chase her, so she scrambles away. </p><p>She’s retching blood into her hands as soon as Chabashira’s out of sight. </p><p>❀</p><p>“Angie-san, why would you… why did you do that to yourself?” There’s a hint of distress in Shinguuji’s voice and they fiddle with the edges of their clothes. </p><p>“Angie was supposed to confess, right? And she-” There’s a cough, and petals fall from Yonaga’s mouth before she can think to suppress it. “She - she kissed Tenko, and-”</p><p>“That isn’t a confession. You could have done that for any number of reasons, for all Chabashira-san knows.” They look like they’re going to continue, but Yonaga begins to cough again, and they bring up one bandaged hand to pinch at the bridge of their nose. </p><p>He’s patient, when Yonaga coughs up petals and blood and she’ll have to go to the bathroom to clean herself up but for now she’ll have to deal with bloody petals in her hands. Her vision blurs with the pain, snaking its way through her throat to her chest to her stomach. </p><p>She’s coughing for too long before Shinguuji rubs a hand over her back. A simple gesture, but one that Yonaga appreciates. </p><p>“You need to tell her with your words,” Shinguuji says, once she’s finished. </p><p>“God thinks otherwise,” Yonaga says. It comes out as a rasp. “God thinks-” </p><p>“You need to tell her,” Shinguuji repeats. “At the very least, she deserves some explanation for the kiss.” </p><p>Yonaga mulls that over, for a moment. “And if Tenko doesn’t like Angie?” </p><p>“Then you’ll stop dying, regardless. I doubt it’s your time for you to return to your God.” </p><p>For once, God doesn’t say anything. Yonaga doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t… </p><p>She feels blood dribble from her mouth before she decides. </p><p>“Okay. Angie will.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tenkangie rights</p></blockquote></div></div>
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